Waving the White Flag
I surrender.
I don't know all the answers. I can't get it all done in time. I'm only one person whose heart is trying as hard as possible. I can't be it all, have it all, do it all.
I surrender....
joyfully and with no expectations for anything else.
I surrender ...
and with my surrender, I will simply focus on loving my God, loving my husband, and loving my children the best that I can.
I surrender...
I will ask for help. I will say no more often. I will allow others to see that I don't have it all together. I will be human.
I surrender .... I surrender it all.
Posted in: being real, being real. on my mind, going on in my heart on Sunday, April 25, 2010 at at 3:58 PM
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I wish I lived closer (and had more energy) so I could help you.
Actually - it's not all bad. I wrote this b/c I'm really learning how I am when it comes to stress. Three kids is wonderful ... but now I need to figure out who I am as mama of three. Along with moving, packing, and all the uncertainties of our life is bringing up my anxiety and stress level. I'm coming to the end of myself... which is good. It means, I need to surrender. I need to relax and take one day at a time and trust that it will all come together. Writing this is my way of saying it out loud.... I surrender!!!
I was reminded by a blog post of a colleague of mine about the importance of rest... Not just the Sabbath rest, but our daily sleep (see below) - and this after I have lately been wishing for 2 extra hours in the day in the middle of the night for me to get caught up on things...as I am up until 12 or 1 or later and then struggling to wake up in the morning... this is not how God designed it to be! lol!
Here's the quote from the blog.
From CJ Mahaney's book entitled Humility:
"The fact is, God could have created us without a need for sleep. But He chose to build this need within us, and there’s a spiritual purpose for it. Each night, as I confront my need again for sleep, I’m reminded that I’m a dependent creature. I am not self-sufficient. I am not the Creator. There is only One who will ‘neither slumber nor sleep’ (Ps 121:4), and I am not that One.
Sleep is a gift, but it’s a humbling one. It’s a matter of only hours, at most, before you’re ready to again receive God’s gift of sleep. When that time comes, let me encourage you to pray something like this: ‘Lord, thank You for this gift. The fact that I’m so tired is a reminder that I am the creature and only You are the Creator. Only You neither slumber nor sleep, while for me, sleep is something I cannot go without. Thank You for this gracious, humbling, refreshing gift.’"
Me again: Also - I was reminded in church yesterday... In Ecclesiastes 1 & 2, Solomon laments about how life seems useless, tiresome & unfulfilling - chasing after the wind... The pastor said something interesting... Tiredness comes from doing things that don't truly matter (that and multiple night wakings from small children - lol)! When you're working for God, you are inspired and refreshed (at least in spirit). And then he talked about Paul and all that he went through and yet he kept keeping on. Pray with intensity. Serve with humility. Give with generosity, and Share Christ with urgency. This is how to life a live that matters.
Praying for you as you care for your family and prepare for your move! God bless!