At the beginning of the month, I sat looking at all our bills and our bank account. Neither one was willing to help each other out. My stomach flip flopped and my heart sank. I even said out loud to God, "the numbers look bigger then You, God. I know they aren't, but they feel bigger."
I suppose that is how life is at times. What is going on around us seems much bigger then who our God really is. The inner turmoil of knowing and really thinking that He can overcome any situation that we are in, begins to wrestle with the outward circumstances. Soon, we find ourselves weighed down.
Recently, I've been traveling out of that pit of despair. It started with a bit of confidence. Confidence in Him, in hearing Him, and understanding what He has told me to do. I don't know about you, but when I KNOW that God wants me to do something, I feel stronger to take on the day and walk life out.
I think confidence can help to bring on determined faith. The "I'm not going to stop doing this, because He hasn't told me to yet." And "something has to give, because I'm doing everything He's told me to do."
Confidence, determined faith, and humbleness. Yea, that is the last one. It's the place where you cast away every ounce of pride left in you. Because at this point, who really cares what the rest of the world thinks. And you jump on what God is saying, and joy begins to fill your heart again.
The highs and lows of life....today, I'm thankful. Thankful to pay my bills. Thankful for the gracious friends and family, who helped us out. Thankful to my God, who hears my prayers, provides for my needs, is patient enough to teach me even when I throw fits, and finds me worthy enough to love and pour into others.