Push Me Out of the Boat
Last night I went out to Panera with some other women. I was so excited to be out of the house, drinking a cup of coffee, with someone other then my husband, or worse yet by myself!
It was the first time I have done that since we moved down here.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have had a cup of joe. And I have gone out with friends from PENNSYLVANIA, when they visit me. But I have not met some local women out of a house or in a church setting, yet.
It's not like I haven't wanted to. But truth be told, I have not been invited.
This has been a bit of a problem for me. I definitely have invited other women to my house to hang out. But rarely do I ever actually get an invitation to theirs. I'm not lying when I say I can count on one hand the amount of times that I have actually been to someone elses house for lunch or a playdate since I moved here. One. hand. And don't get me started on being invited to dinner as a family. 3 times, people. 3 times.
I think because very few people were returning the invite, I began to feel like I just didn't want to invite others out too. So, I didn't.
Last week, one of the women from my Mexico team, invited me over for lunch. I felt as though I was going to bust. I even had CJ take time off of work to watch the kids, so that I could go over child free. We talked for hours.
And then last night, I sat down with some other women, drank a cup of coffee and helped to plan an upcoming womens gathering. It felt good. It felt familiar. It felt natural.
I realized that maybe it is time to get out of the self pity boat. Perhaps I need to try again. Maybe I should actually ask someone to join me for some java, instead of going by myself.
So, I put my big toe in the water again today. I emailed an acquaintance with some dates and asked if she wanted to get out of the house. Who knows where things will go from here. I'm not about to connect dots, get my hopes up, or anything like that. But I'm at least going to attempt getting out of the boat. Cautiously of course....
Yea, maybe Somebody needs to push me out....
Posted in: being real, going on in my heart, women on Tuesday, April 01, 2008 at at 12:10 PM
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I can totally relate. Have definitely been there. Yup. That's all I'm going to say about that. :)
I'm so sad for you that you have been in that situation. And I think the idea of going out somewhere is good; some people may feel intimidated or embarrassed to invite someone to their house.
You could also try another "group date" and see who you click with. :)
Isn't it crazy how people just don't think to connect in that way. I have lived here for almost 5 years and it seems like we're always the ones inviting, and your right, it kinda makes you want to stop. But you do have to make the effort and maybe you will show others how important friendships and hospitality is. Good for you getting out of the boat :)
BTW, are you near Willmington? We are applying there right now, we would like to live anywhere in that area. You never know, maybe I'll invite you guys over someday :)
I think since kids, people have invited less. But than alas 2 dinner invites for me and kids in the last weeks. It's crazy but very very lovely.
Here's to connecting with people more.
omigosh, OFFJ! This could be me posting this. Except, I've been pushing myself out of the boat over and over for almost 4 years. I don't know any other way to do it - sometimes I feel as if I'm invading someone's space just be asking them to go out or get together. But I keep doing it. And I keep feeling pushy!
And finally, the Lord gave me a couple gals that are starting to reciprocate. Slow, but steady. But it is happening. Finally.
When we were getting ready to move, Kay Owens told me to prepare my heart for 18 or so months of potential settling in time, maybe loneliness, etc. It's only been in this last 8 months that I've seen a corner turned for my relationships. That was waaaaaay more than 18 or so months!
Good for you - hang in there - we will get through this!!!!