Still with me? I think you are. Lori and TCC, you were right on with your comments. Through writing these posts, going back and forth with God, and reading your comments, I am finding strength in Him!
Here is more of what I am walking through...
It's true, I had no idea what we signed up for, when it came to taking this path. I certainly could never have understood where my security lied until I lost it. And losing security is in the end good, as it makes you rely on only what you do have, Him.
And I did have expectations of God. I still do. I haven't fully lost them yet.
But as I struggle so deeply with what we have given up, what we don't have, where I am at with God, not knowing what lies ahead, I have come to a fork in the road. I have come to a place in my mind, of decision.
It's so simple and yet, so hard to do.
Do I want to continue on, believing that somehow He is going to come through that He is going to take care of our needs? Or, do I want to quit and slip into the world, with a luke warm relationship?
I'm stuck. I really am. Because as far as I see it, there is no choice. No choice what so ever.
I have to follow Him. I can not live this life without Hope. I can not live this life without daily Life. I can not live this life without Jesus. I just can't....
Finishing off tomorrow with: Stuck