I went to bed grumpy and woke up grumpy.
I'm one of those people who just can't cry. It takes a lot for me to actually finally let go and cry. Many times I'll have a huge lump in my throat but it takes so much for it to actually finally come out. I need to cry.... really, I need to.
Last night I was perusing facebook looking at pictures of friends. I found myself feeling so confused. Who am I? I miss NC and yet desperately want to be in PA. I don't have a home set up yet, a schedule for my kids and I to follow, my own blankets and bed. I feel lost and grumpy.
Yet, I have so much to be thankful for... I'm serious, I really do.
So, while I am not going to be all Pollyanna on you, I am outwardly declaring the things that I am thankful for...
* in laws who joyfully put us up in their home, gush over my kids, let us take over, spoil us with things we haven't had in years, snuggle with the baby when I want to do something, and generally just loves us no matter what.
* Brother in law and sister in law - support us, laugh with us, generous and caring, love our kids and enjoy us for our quirks and personalities
* my dad and his wife, whom are willing to turn themselves into a pretzel to make a home work for my ever growing family.
* a soon to meet and love niece or nephew, whom will only be less then 6 months younger then my Simon
*who have totally been giving us our space as we transition out of "shock," who love us unconditionally, who give to us, laugh with us, encourage us,
* for regular emails and phone calls that include - "I love you, I'm here for you, I'm willing to wait until you are ready to come out of your cave, I'm not giving up on you."
~ God's provision
*leads on jobs, bills that come in less then we were expecting, money that is NOT flowing out of our accounts, amazing deals, favor with others, and generosity
*both in NC and in PA - who see what God has in us and encourages us to keep moving forward one day at a time, who again laughs with us and encourages us!
*this Godly man, who chooses to provide and take care of us, who encourages me to be part of all the decisions, who tenderly listens to me and says, "I'm sorry I can't make it better for you, but I love you," and then hugs me, who is willing to put aside his dreams and desires for us, who works and plays hard. I truly, deeply love my husband.
I feel better already. Now, I'm going to clean up, put on some sneakers and walk over to my brother in laws house for a work day.
Posted in: on Friday, June 11, 2010 at at 9:31 AM