My sweet baby boy #3, Simon David, is finally here! I am totally in love...
Each time I have a baby, things seem to grow and change in my heart. I remember having my first son, and falling deeply in love with him from the moment I saw him. He was tiny yet strong and was willing to fight for his life. Never in my entire life had I felt such a deep sense of "mama bear" love. Nothing was going to get between me and my son.
But first babies are hard. It's true. You just don't know what you are doing. You read hundreds of books, articles, and internet sites that advise you on every little ounce of your darling child. You turn to any girlfriend for advice, praying that they can show you something that might make a difference. And seriously, find me a new mom, who doesn't get advise from her mom or mother in law... it just comes with the territory.
By the time you've searched out every single tiny piece of advice, you're sour and tired and irritable because somewhere along the lines, you didn't get the owners manual to the child. You're forced to trust God and to learn from the baby himself. It's just the way it is. Still, it's worth it all!
If you are brave enough, you decide that this baby of yours needs a sibling. Before you know it, baby number two has entered the picture. What is surprising, is just how easy he is.
When Zman came along, I was much more laid back. Of course I fell in love again immediately. From the start, I was relaxed. This time around, I didn't need the lesson on how to change the diaper and that I should probably point it south! (you know what I'm talking about!!!) Breastfeeding wasn't a challenge, sleeping through the night happened on its own at 7 weeks, and I totally got over myself, letting the new little guy sleep with us once in a while. Yea, baby #2, was way more easier.
5 years have passed by.... and now I am holding my third son. The one, I spent months fighting for. The one, who when I found out I was pregnant, fell in love with BEFORE I looked at him. My heart not only is filled with love, but with joy and peace. This gift from God can bring me to tears in an instant!
As I was getting ready to push, during delivery, I kept saying, "I can't wait... I can't wait! I finally get to hold him! I finally get to see him!!! I just can't wait!"
That is where I am at. I am in love with this child. I have a beautiful feeling of peace with him. Holding him, nursing him, changing his diapers, getting up in the middle of the night, not having a completely clean house, or even having all my thoughts together.... it's the best! It's worth it all.