Tonight we went to service. As I was drying my hair in the bathroom, before we left, I thought to myself, "I'm either going to come home really angry or I will be crying at church and feel a bit of a release."
Good news - I am not angry!
God is so good. Even though I am not out of the valley I do have hope. And that is so important in this journey of mine.
Tonight God reminded me of several things. First, He reminded me of when I was in track and field. Okay - now don't laugh, for those of you who actually know me in real life. I was a long distance runner and not good at it, but I did it. And honestly in my mind that was all I was trying to accomplish, actually getting across the finish line without giving up.
In track I knew that I wasn't the gold runner. I knew that I was usually always the last one or two coming in. I never placed. But track taught me endurance. Actually, it taught me that I had endurance in many areas of my life.
Fast forward (no pun intended, okay maybe a little) to now. God reminded me tonight that I have endurance with Him. He showed me that I was the type who will never fully give up. I may want to. I may be so tired and so fed up with my circumstances that I would seriously feel like throwing in the towel. But, when push came to shove, I would stay in the race.
Then as if, that wasn't enough, we received prayer during worship tonight. And I did cry. Hard. But, oh, what a relief. It was bottled up and I was tired. We never told anyone who was praying over us what the circumstances were and why we were so desperate. Which is why it was even more exciting when one of the people leaned over and shared the vision God gave them of me.
I was sitting in a brand new red convertible (stay focused it isn't about the car *smile) and I had a huge smile on my face. I was completely surprised and thrilled because the Lord had provided for our needs.
That was the main gist of it all. My crying stopped when the encouraging word came. My God delivered me hope.
So, I am back to running again. I've picked up my pace and I am going to finish the race. I'm gonna do it.