Well, we did it. We pushed through that invisible wall of fear, got into our car, and left all that we know as comfortable, enjoyable and fun. We have left our warm home, our fiery and fun church, our family, and the hardest part, our friends.
We are half way there, spending the night at a hotel, resting up for tomorrows travels. We hope to arrive at our final destination, our new home, mid day tomorrow.
As we stood last night and this morning with our best friends, tears poured down our faces. Never in my life did I think it was going to be this hard to leave our friends. (Mom and bro - if you read this, try not to be upset with me, I need to get the following out!)
Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to live in different parts of the world. I remember doing a book report on Brazil when I was in fourth grade. I got so in to it, I began to desire traveling there. I have written about my coin collection before. But the reason I loved to collect coins, is because it gives me opportunity to see a country in that way. When I was graduating from high school, I wanted to join the peace corp and backpack Europe. And almost anytime we listen to a missionary report about the work they are doing, I can imagine myself there working along side of them. I got the traveling bug....
So, the thought of moving to another state to go back to school, is really exciting. I get to explore a new state and new city. I have already bought books to help me with my exploration. I have already mapquested the nearest library from our apartment. And just today, one of our dearest friends gave us a family pass to one of the neatest kids museums in the area we are moving to. So you see, I am really excited to move and do what God wants us to do.
Except for my heart is hurting over the loss of my friends. My husband and I went to bed last night after we had said good bye to Thrills husband (he leaves very early in the am for work). My husband prayed through tears, about our good byes. This is so much tougher then we were expecting.
Our friends have been our safety net in our walk with the Lord. They have been the ones that have had our backs through prayer and encouragement. They hold us when we hurt, they cheer us on in our victories. They have helped us understand Him through conversations and just by their walk.
As we step out into the unknown - which is what it really is, we are missing our safety net, our friends. We are missing the ones that know us and love us deeply, who gets us for who we are now and who we are going to be.
So, as my husband prayed and the tears rolled down our faces, we realized that God was removing the safety net so that He could replace it with Him.
I think mourning is okay. We will be mourning our friends deeply. And learning how to rely on God even more will be a lesson of its own. I look forward to God being our safety net and then maybe someday, He'll bring back those friends who we love so dearly.
Posted in: on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 at at 8:56 PM