The Innocence of 4 Year Olds

I am a little melancholy tonight. Today, I took my kids to our friends house for the day. I will nickname her JesusFreak! She would agree that name fits her perfectly.

JesusFreak, is one of my most intense friends. She LOVES the Lord. And I don't mean, kind of, or even a lot. I am talking every little cell that is in her, loves the Lord. She would and has done anything He has asked her to do.

Years ago, we met. God made it very clear that we were to be friends. It took us awhile to really catch on to our friendship. She is a great teacher, knows so much more then I do about Him, and is very passionate. I was a late bloomer in coming to know Him, needing much in that department, but full of compassion.

JesusFreak, has 3 girls, ages 4, 2, and 6 months. I have two boys, EJ - 4 and Z -2.

It is the older kids that have such fun together. For the last 4 years they have grown up together. They play together like brother and sister. They even fight like siblings. Overall they are such a pair.

JF and I parent very similarly. Which has made things easier and more fun for our kids to play together. If either one of us finds something new or exciting for our kids, we must let each other know asap.

On the days that we go to JF's house, we spend the entire day there. The kids play in the morning and we try to talk. Then lunch time hits and we feed the troops and as soon as the last drop of food is washed off of their faces, we put them to bed. The afternoon, usually is ours and we talk, pray, work through new things that the Lord is showing us. I treasure those days!

Today, was the last time of getting together like that. Tomorrow we pack up the truck and soon we will be on our way to the next adventure God has for us.

Watching two four year olds say good bye to each other was interesting. EJ doesn't completely get that he isn't going to see her again for a long time. He doesn't understand that we are going to be living 8 hours away now. She understands a little bit more but tried to avert the conversation.

As adults, we wanted the kids to have some sort of finale with each other. We kept trying to explain that this was it.

But as my sweet EJ told her he loved her and gave her a hug, HUGE tears began to fall down my cheeks. And the thought of, "what in the world am I doing?" came across my mind. Somehow I feel horribly responsible for taking him away from all that he knows and loves, his friends, family, home, church, etc. And he is so unsuspecting.

In my spirit, I trust Him. I know without a shadow of a doubt He has called us to North Carolina. And we are going to walk this out, with joy and obedience.

But today, his sweet innocence and love for his friend broke my wall of no emotions. I cried so hard for what we are giving up and for what he is losing.

Sorry to be a downer, but I needed to get this out of my head before I go to sleep tonight.


  1. I love being your "JF"!!! It broke my heart as well, I must say... But, you know how they say 'you'll always have your family' and 'blood is thicker than water'? Well, so it goes with us - and our families. C will always have a brother (to love and fight with!)and I'll always have you as a sister (to love and be passionate about the Lord with!)
    YOU ARE THE BEST!!! and I'm sooo proud of you! Love, L