Okay, I was thinking today about what I wrote earlier. I was thinking about the sacrifice of leaving my friends and I realized why I am so sad about this.
I've never had what I have now. Ever. When I was a teen, I had some friends and they were good. But, they were messed up and frankly, I was really messed up. I never felt like I fit in. And I hated the circumstances I was in at the time.
What I have noticed that changed in me was, age, finding Jesus, and the security of who I am and what I am about.
When I fell in love with Jesus, He gave me so much. The biggest was an identity. Purpose and hope may even be bigger then that. But both come with identity.
When you have purpose and hope, you become a person who can love and be loved.
I started getting to know my friends in lots of different ways. We shared the common love for the Lord. That was what was molding us together.
We didn't have it all together. Infact, I was in the infancy stages of getting to know God as well as myself.
My friends accepted me for who I was then and who I was becoming. We listened to each other. And went deeper then I have ever gone with a friend before. We prayed together, laughed and cried. We pushed each others buttons. We have lived life in such an enjoyable way.
Through the last six years, I have been with my friends through births, deaths, showers, new homes, fights with husbands, depression, and sheer joy. Through it all we've been so close.
I have never been through the next stage of friendship, the stage of moving away. How do you call each other at 8 am in the morning, feeling as though you can't make it through another day as a stay at home mom, and you have to get out?
Gone are the 911 calls at 6pm, when everyone is finishing dinner and you just have to get out of the house.
Of course, I am the one leaving. And they are still here. They will miss me, but continue on with the friendships that are already established.
And I will.... will what? Start again? Keep in touch?
Look, I know that when you sacrifice something for the Lord, He will take care of all of our needs. And He isn't leaving me and I am not leaving Him. I know that He will work out the details and provide all that I need. I also know that this is nothing in comparison to His sacrifice of His son.
He will take care of my needs and my losses. He will.
That is about it now!
Posted in: on Wednesday, July 05, 2006 at at 5:38 PM