Sort of Around Again
My fast ended this past Tuesday. And with great excitement I turned on my computer pulled up my blog and began to read. I read all the comments first and was about to go onto reading other blogs. I got stopped at a comment and never really returned.
I have been debating about what to write these days. At first I had a lot on my mind and was eager to get it out on paper. But then I realized that this blog has become a place that people who know me closely read on a regular basis. And judgement has come because of what I have written.
I chose to journal online, revealing my heart to many people because I thought that people could learn a little about me, just as I have learned much about others. I have not arrived and know all. I am not closer to "the Man Upstairs" then any of the rest of you. I am just me, who enjoyed writing and occasionally hoped that someone else was getting something out of this.
However, I learned a big lesson. Be VERY careful what you write and only write about what you know for a fact. Otherwise, you open yourself up to hurt and judgement from others.
ALL of my posts have been about me learning. That is it.
So, my break is extended. I just can't write about fluff stuff. And to be honest, I need to either come to a place of not caring so much about other peoples opinions or not caring so much about what I write.
I realize that 95% of you have no idea what I am talking about. So, forgive me.
I'll be around.
Posted in: on Friday, February 02, 2007 at at 4:10 PM
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I understand, it's strange you start a blog for "yourself" and it becomes in a sort "for others". I've had judgements on mine and yes I did decide I don't really care. I try to encourage others, and if I know I offend someone I ALWAYS find a way to apologize to that person, but my blog is my journal. And afterall, who can help but write what they want and think in their journal?
if it helps blogger can now makeblogs private, you could do a seperate "private" one for certain topics or something....
I'm so sorry that you've been hurt by others' reactions to your choice to share your vulnerable and true journey in this venue.
I was once in a similar position, and a very wise friend told me to be careful not to allow the hurt to cause a reaction of choosing not to risk, or trust, or share in the future. He was right, and I've always treasured that he took the risk to share that with me, even when he didn't know me well yet. He became a trusted and respected confidante in later years of college together - mainly because he took that risk himself and encouraged me to keep trying to do the same!
You have a sweet, tender and open spirit and it's often been a blessing to me (in person and in your blogs) that you are so open with your journey. Your childlike faith is inspiring. I'm praying now that the Lord give you discernment on how to proceed; healing for the wound that was inflicted; and joy in knowing that your honesty and truthful tellings have made a difference in many lives. Including mine!
HUGS to you right now.
I have really enjoyed your blog. One of the qualities I like about your writing is that you are genuine. I have been able to relate to some of your stories and have learned from the others. I pray that you will be able to give this hurt over to God and seek Him for healing and your next steps.
I hope that you know how much you have touched my life with your sharing.