Feelings, I've Got Feelings...

Miriam Webster's online dictionary states that feelings are an emotional state or reaction, often unreasoned opinion or belief.

With that said, sometimes I just want to spit on my feelings. Yeah, I said spit!!!

My feelings are ruling my thoughts today. So, I am voicing them on paper and to the Lord. And then I am going to praise Him, because thats what we are supposed to do when we are feeling down, right???

Well, Lord, I am feeling lonely these days. I miss my friends, but more importantly I miss the convience of my friends. I miss walking into stores and running into someone I know. I love the fact that You and I are getting closer, but Lord, I don't have anyone close here.

I am feeling selfish too. Because I want a house again. I want to have room to run around and a backyard to stick the kids in. And I want to be able to paint my walls yummy colors. And have my"toys" from back home in our midst again...like my piano.

I am feeling worried about finances. Not that we don't have enough, but what if it runs out. And the rest of the world, even christians, work. Shouldn't we?

I am feeling as though, I am forgetting the point of why we are here, not just school, but every other purpose that you called us here.

I really miss my friends. I really miss my 911 calls and the MIA meetings and my warm church and my comfortable life from before. I just do...

You know where I am at, Lord. And I know You, I praise you even in the midst of my "feelings." I know that You have my best interests at hand. I know that You can be my best friend. I believe that You are my Father and that You love me. I trust You and I hold onto You even in my moments of loneliness.

I trust You, I trust You, I trust You....


***To my dear friends back home, please don't read this and feel guilty that we have not talked or written to each other. It takes two to keep in contact and I have struggled on keeping up my end! I write my heart out at times, but know that this is not a subtle way or even a loud cry to one or all of you!!! I do miss you. But I am glad to be where God has called us.