Emptying the Tear Ducts
Today was a rough day for me. Physically I've been dealing with dizziness and exhaustion. Mentally, I've been thinking wayyyy to much about wayyy too many things. Emotionally, well I've been checked out.....until today.
Ladies (and those few gents who read this blog) I cried 5 times today. 5 times!!!
I'm not joking. A few times this morning over exhaustion, literal dreams (in which I cried in them too), a long lasting fight this weekend with the hubby, and so on. Then I took a few turns emptying out the tear ducts during class today. Did you read that correctly, I said during class. As if that wasn't enough, I finished class walked directly to my husbands office, shut the door and burst into tears again!
Now before you begin with the twenty questions, like am I pregnant? Did someone die? Was the fight with the husband that bad? Have I overworked myself? And so, on...let me explain something to you. In general I can't cry. I'm serious.... drops of tears will not fall down this face when the inside of me desperately wants to unload. It's one of those things that I don't know how to change, besides prayer.
Let's visit this weekend for instance.... I was thoroughly, completely, totally exhausted. Then I watched Little Women on Friday evening. Saturday it rained all day long (yahoo), soccer was cancelled and after a morning of fun I began working on mindless homework and watched Sense and Sensibility. That evening began the beginnings of our disagreement. Which, unfortunately, but truthfully led into Sunday. And Sunday, I actually prayed that God would help me cry. Because after two girl movies, 1 overly long drawn out fight, and let's not forget the tiredness.... I still hadn't cried!
Obviously God heard my prayers. This morning the dam broke.
Exhaustion caught up with me. Every single thing that has been racking my brain for the last several months over took me. Dealing with cross conversations from the weekend finally rebounded. I believe I got every tear drop out possible.
The release felt good... real good.
So, no I'm not pregnant. No one died. And honestly my husband and I found revelation together. I'm seeking an early bed time tonight to help aid the exhaustion. And I'm doing the best thing possible, having some good conversations with my Abba. Because, unfortunately, the brain is back in gear and there is much to continue working on.
Posted in: being real. on my mind on Monday, September 29, 2008 at at 7:27 PM
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I'll be saying a prayer for you. Get some rest and take care of yourself. It's good to cry :)
God does know. You were heavy on my heart today! Love you!
I find that being exhausted, and another word that seems to fit is "drained", contributes to a lot of other problems. Rest definitely makes it easier to gain perspective and be able to handle things better.