Do You Ever Feel This Way?

I just want to be satisfied with being Mom, nothing else, nothing more. I want to delight in knowing that this is where my Father has me right now, for this time in my life. I want to enjoy the days when all I have to do is be with my kids. I want to deeply enjoy what I have right now, right here.

It's the end of the trimester, finals week. CJ is exhausted and up to his ears in work. Everyone in my family got hit with the cold/sinus/sore throat bug. And I am feeling run down, weary, and lonely.

At the end of the day, for months now, I have been looking at my self and what I have accomplished as a mom. For me, its just not good enough. I am not satisfied.

When I pray, I feel like the Lord is showing me that this is a season. By going through all of this, I will be an even better mom.

Sometimes, I just want to throw in the towel and say, "I am done. I just can't go any further. I can't."

And that...is me being real.

4 comments:

  1. I think I feel that way everyday also. Sorry I don't have any encouragement for you, except to say you are not alone.

    There are so many times that I would like to say "I'm done", but then I just look at their faces. And for some reason I just keep on going.

     
  2. Ever feel that way? Yep. At least once a week, sometimes more. Usually it's because I'm tired. The enemy always seems to know when I'm tired and then it really doesn't take much work for him to get me to the point when I feel like a horrible mother/wife/sister/friend/person. The only solice I can offer is to think on things that are "of good report" especailly about you. I don't know you, but I know others who do know you and they think you're an amazing mother/friend/person. Battle on that battlefield of your mind, my sister, and be victorious. :)

     
  3. I think I feel like that as well. And also at times I get scared because I am scared about what I will do when my babies are grown, what will the Lord have for me? What about that balance? *sigh* I was thinking about that as I was up at 2:00 with Little Wiseman the other day. Oh yeah, he's 10 days old already! Wow!

     
  4. I feel this way sometimes too. But what keeps me going is knowing that this IS a season; that before I know it, my children will be grown and gone. There is no getting this time back with them. Remember that you have just this short time to disciple them and raise them up to be people who love the Lord and want to serve him. You are a missionary, girl! What you are doing is of eternal significance, every little bit of it! Every dish, every runny nose, every load of laundry is an act of love and service, not just to your family, but to Christ who has called you to this work. Just keep praying that God will make you content and soon, your heart will change.